AFFORDABLE ALTERNATIVES TO DECK COLLECTING
Going Through the Worst Or Maybe Best Skateboarding eBay Auctions.
At the time of publishing, the most expensive deck you can buy on eBay will run you $99,000.00 USD plus shipping. It’s being sold by Aaron_Judge but I doubt it’s the All-Star Yankee player who is currently injured
As you know, skateboard decks—especially pristine ones—fetch amounts most never dreamed of, making it hard to own those wonderful pieces of nostalgia for those of us who like to hang skateboards on walls.
It sucks, but that’s life.
Also, I’d like to hope that a lot of folks who needed money cashed in on their old decks and that’s more fun to think about than a bunch of punishing hoarders who want way too much money for a dead stock Jason Lee bLind board reissue or whatever.
The key to investing is finding undervalued commodities. I read this somewhere or maybe I’m just paraphrasing Moneyball. Anyway, I went through tens of thousands of auctions to find some affordable non-deck pieces of history that you might want to procure in the hopes of hitting it big… or maybe you just want some cool things to add to your home.
For $9.33 (Free Shipping) you can own this portrait from 2000-2009.
That’s an extensive stretch of time and I’m not sure exactly when Bam Margera joined Adio but as you can see from this listing, one of the people in the photo is wearing a Bam shirt with the Adio “A” subbed in for the regular one, so this all tracks.
Someone who is more of a Bamtologist will know whether the heartagram A or Adio A was first integrated into his name, but that’s not me. Instead, I’m giving you the inside edge on this piece of memorabilia and maybe some links to Suzuki parts.
Finding the shirt—I currently don’t see any listed on eBay–is more difficult and takes up more space. Instead, you can own this photo and maybe put it on a mug or T-Shirt. Boom!
This photo could be the start of a very cool brand.
*It appears in my rudimentary internet research that Element never used the heartagram for the A in Bam. Seems like a gimmie…
OK, there are a lot of these Braille Mystery Packs on eBay. This listing isn’t particularly unique but for $25-ish dollars/$6-ish dollars a fingerboard, you not only get the classic Braille logo collectible but also, a marshmallow griptape board.
The other two? Who knows!
You could film an unboxing or just have people over to see what happens. A Braille Reveal Party or something. The packaging states this is for ages 3+ but also that they can “skate anything,” which seems contradictory but you might get a shoe or guitar-shaped board so that’s worth the risk.
You’re probably aware that things aren’t going too well over at Dwindle. Enjoi has become Jacuzzi Skateboarding Equipment Unlimited, Madness is now Opera, and as for the rest of the brands… I’m not really sure.
Now, I’m not trying to be harsh to folks who may or may not have jobs, I’m just stating the state of affairs.
But check out this T-Shirt.
It’s a sick-ass rock dude, kind of modeled after Kane Roberts shredding a riff so hard that something is coming out of the headstock of his guitar.
Kane Roberts (pictured above)
You might be wondering why they didn’t use the Metallica “A” for the Almost logo and that’s valid, but it also opens up more questions relating to this auction:
Why does the guitar lack strings?
Why is the guitar warped?
Is he using a pick?
It’s not plugged into anything… is Almost still a brand?
Is this auction for an Almost Skateboards or Skateboard shirt?
I dunno but it says “rockit” on the sleeve and seems like a solid investment.
Soap. “French milled” soap.
When you skateboard, you probably get dirty and soap is essential. I stayed at a skate house once and everyone protected their soap and toilet paper behind lock and key. I didn’t know that so when I went to shower, I discovered it would be sans soap, so I paused, went to the kitchen and procured some Palmolive dish soap. I spent the remainder of the day feeling like I had a film on my skin until I sweated through it.
I smelled pretty weird.
What’s really shocking about this relic is that the object states that Tracker design “will not wash off.” So there’s something in the soap that is possibly so toxic it cannot be removed and you’re putting it on your bare skin and also, something not coming off is kind of… counter to what soap is.
What better to segue from cleaning products than to iPath?
A wallet is kind of a weird object for iPath to make because I feel like a true iPather would be way more into bartering… iThink.
A hemp sack would be way more on-brand but whatever.
People on social media give iPath Footwear high praise. They want a reboot and that’s cool but I have some doubts as to how many folks would really invest enough of their money to make the brand survive.
The other thing I think about is that there are probably some people whose entry to iPath was like… some weird era when Dune was the T.M. and they had Jaws.
Are we talking about the same thing? I bet if they rebooted as some wellness footwear brand with essential oils soaked into the soles they’d have a solid market.
Crypto, NFTs, whatever the fuck Web3 is.. the Metaverse.
I don’t know about that shit but I do know that there are a lot of things with value that you can’t hold in your hand.
I mean, you can’t put a price on dreams… or can you? (starting bid is $79.99)
I dunno, but it turns out tangible things do have value and trading cards are a pretty boss investment.
I don’t know if this 1978 Donruss All-Pro set of trading cards will someday turn into a downpayment on a house—I mean, if you live in the US you’re never buying a home anyway—but there are some graphics in here that look like some 917 graphics from when they had a team.
Hear me out: Patches are the new decks.
You can buy them.
You can put them on things.
Then you can wear them.
And what better way to show the world that you have something rare and cool than wearing it?
Well, I have an answer, you wear a patch of a cartoon feasting on brains… with a spoon… as if it’s cereal.
What’s more symbolic of SLS than a knife?
You know how people throw around the term “double-edged sword”?
SLS is definitely that: a means to an end. A thing that can poke you or get you the podium. Something that hopefully makes nice people money despite its affiliations.
Most of us won’t compete in SLS, much less watch it, but we can use this knife on a camping trip or maybe whittle a figurine of our favorite skater out of some wood.
But wait, you don’t have to whittle shit.
Nope. Don’t buy the SLS knife.
For $75 dollars you can just buy this and it looks just like Eric Dressen:
Vintage resin figurine supposedly depicting the likeness of Eric Dressen
The body may have been replied to the deck ? As there is some visible glue between the deck and the body
I couldn’t find any info online , I was told by a skater friend of mine he seems to remember these resin figures from the skate shops in the early 90s
It’s not a frontside lipslide and you don’t get a deadstock package of Berry Panic so the question remains unanswered.
A fitting end.